I didn’t watch a lot of TV growing up. I read, and begged my parents for new Barbie dolls – which I promptly decapitated. As an adult, I’ve discarded one of those two habits. So here I am, with some spare time and a gaping hole in my life where a hobby should be.
That’s how TV found me. I’m slowly trying to crawl out from under the rock where I live but I still have a lot of questions. And since the internet is so starved for pointless content, I will pose these questions to you. Specifically about Gilmore Girls, because I haven’t watched anything else and don’t plan to.
Where did Lane find the time to bond with Rory and become her best friend?
Roughly 98% of their conversations are “okay, I gotta go!”
How do friends and loved ones always communicate in the form of witty banter?
It’s like playing verbal table tennis. It’s fun every now and then but I can’t do it all day, you know. When I decide I love someone, it’s an official license to communicate in grunts all the time.
Is it just me or is Sherry’s baby shower actually fun?
Hey Lorelai, we don’t all have a decades-long troubled history with the father of Sherry’s baby, okay? Don’t try to con us into believing that Sherry’s baby shower was unbearable and fake. Getting through a baby shower without saying the word “baby”? Fun. Guessing the contents of a mysteriously rolled up diaper with your friends? Fun. Karaoke? Fun!
Also, I understand that you don’t want to be Sherry’s best friend anytime soon but what do you have against opening a CD case and finding the right CD? It was nice of her to re-organise Christopher’s music collection even though she probably doesn’t listen to any of it. What have you done for him?
(You helped him raise his baby when Sherry left him, yes. That was very nice. But still.)
Why is everyone so harsh on Jess?
If my mother made me leave city life to stay with my uncle in a small village, I promise you arson would have been involved. There’s very little damage Jess does, other than backtalk and petty theft.
We were asked to see Rory’s yacht-stealing as a minor bump in the road and her community service as a little inconvenience. When her game theory professor was nice enough to tell her to drop the class and that everyone feels overwhelmed in college, she gave him a sarcastic and very unnecessary “glad to be fitting in.”
Yet, Jess is the town rowdy because he stole garden gnomes and refused to smile.
Is no boy capable of resisting Rory’s charms?
I know popular girls exist but it seems like literally every male who has ever exchanged a word with Rory Gilmore walks away singing the Kuch Kuch Hota Hai title track. Why? (This question comes from a neutral place free of jealousy and bitterness.)