Did Luke and Lorelai have anything in common? Let’s see. He was the only person on the show with any sense of financial responsibility. She lived in a mansion and couldn’t upgrade her lumpy couch. He served unhealthy food while constantly growling about how his unhealthy food will kill you. She inhaled coffee and exhaled “I-hate-my-mother.”
Luke and Lorelai didn’t bond over anything. They had nothing keeping their relationship together. They talked to each other in punchlines. They didn’t push each other to grow. Come on, Luke, you hated it when your sister walked out on your family for no reason and without taking on any responsibility. How could you not tell Lorelai, just once, that running away from her parents was unnecessary and cruel and definitely not some weird chip on her shoulder?
What they had was that they were both super hot. Hot enough to be on the cover of a magazine. Hot enough to get at least a hundred DMs per day. That’s it. We spent our formative years shipping two Instagram influencers.
(Okay, you spent your formative years shipping two Instagram influencers. I spent my formative years not watching TV and wearing shiny, transparent, lip gloss that only accentuated my oily face and braces.)